Why we should value black Community over ‘traditional’ black families 

  
Maybe its just my world view due to all the misogyny I’ve been experiencing at the hands of black men lately but I look at this and see a story where independent women are the source of the breakdown of the black family. Sorry, not buying it. 
We need to have more support for each and every man woman and child that makes up our community regardless of what separates us and focus on our common ground. Playing the blame game gets us absolutely nowhere. We must be accountable for ourselves and our people. 
Too often the supposedly conscious community finds ways to demonize black women. That is not enlightenment or progress. I love my skin folks even when they don’t agree with or understand me but I’ve seen this floating around and avoided it until now. 
Sidenote: absent fathers are a worldwide and (gasp!) CROSS CULTURAL EPIDEMIC. Somebody told you black fathers not raising their sons are to blame for community violence to distract you from that string of police murders and you took the bait. 
Now I’m not saying community violence is not an issue- I work just as hard to stop that as I do to stop systemic violence inflicted upon my people. I’m also not saying that families – two parent households in particular- aren’t important. 
But as a mother of two who had her first child at 19 and is now engaged to the man helping her raise not one but two beautiful babies, I have to say- shit don’t always work out like a god damn movie on the hallmark channel! 
It’s a lot more important and beneficial, to me, personally, to foster a ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ mentality than keep trying to jam ourselves into this American nuclear family two parents two kids and a dog mold. 
So many couples stay together ‘for the kids’ but look at the cost. Your kids grow up watching two people who are not in love try to tolerate each other and go out into the world of sex and relationships with a BULLSHIT blueprint of what black love can look like. 
Why? Cause you didn’t want to be the black man walking away from his family? Leave that girl and take care of them kids bruh. You didn’t want to be the dreaded independent black woman? Leave that man and make sure he can see them kids shawty. Go get your lives! All it takes to co parent a child is 2 adults who love them. They do not have to be married or even in a relationship. Just my $.02

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