Straight outta black male misogyny

Haven’t seen it and I’m still interested in watching it eventually but the shit described here would be a bit too triggering at this point in time. 
And that script/ casting leak?! We HAVE to do better by our women and stop allowing black male misogyny to exist freely and unchecked ESPECIALLY in the era of #BlackLivesMatter 
The same women you’d use for nothing more than a sexual conquest or write off for being promiscuous (even though you love to watch them twerk) are just as disproportionately impacted by state violence as their male counterparts if not more so due to this type of interpersonal violence AND gender based violence. 
Our movement against systemic oppression must include taking a long hard look at the lethal effects of patriarchy and sexism disguised as tradition, culture and machismo on the movement and in communities of color. 
Black and brown women matter. Fellas, stand up for your mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, nieces, home girls and yes even strangers who may not be simultaneously married and virgins (cause that’s the only kind of good clean girl, right?!) 
Ladies, advocate for yourselves and your sisters- straight, gay, trans, light, dark, natural, relaxed, baby mama, wife, Muslim, Christian alike. 
The abuse and exploitation of indigenous and African/Caribbean women, the fetishization of Latina, Asian and multicultural women, and the normalization of all these sexist, anti Black behaviors have brought us to a place where these messages that black women are to be disrespected and discarded are not recognized as pieces in the puzzle when our women are murdered and the world is silent or when national programs like my brothers keeper are launched and there is no equivalent for young women of color. Something to think about while you praise #StraightOuttaCompton 
I’m not saying #NWA wasn’t a significant group in hip hop or that their message against police brutality and their ability to reach the people most effected by state violence in all its forms was not an incredible testament to the power of hip hop culture, its influence, scope, potential and place as a musical mainstay and cultural phenomenon. I’m saying none of that overrides the misogyny of this or any other musical group/ artist that does not respect women of color. 
I must also note that while white publications and media outlets are loving this film (which is telling in itself) the folks who made it teamed up with law enforcement to guard movie theaters showing the film. Like we the ones shooting up movie theaters. 
#WeDontTrustYouToActCivilized #ButWellTakeYourMoney #SayHerName #BlackWomenMatter #NameTheProblem #Patriarchy #NotQuiteSoRevolutionaryhj


Why we should value black Community over ‘traditional’ black families¬†

Maybe its just my world view due to all the misogyny I’ve been experiencing at the hands of black men lately but I look at this and see a story where independent women are the source of the breakdown of the black family. Sorry, not buying it. 
We need to have more support for each and every man woman and child that makes up our community regardless of what separates us and focus on our common ground. Playing the blame game gets us absolutely nowhere. We must be accountable for ourselves and our people. 
Too often the supposedly conscious community finds ways to demonize black women. That is not enlightenment or progress. I love my skin folks even when they don’t agree with or understand me but I’ve seen this floating around and avoided it until now. 
Sidenote: absent fathers are a worldwide and (gasp!) CROSS CULTURAL EPIDEMIC. Somebody told you black fathers not raising their sons are to blame for community violence to distract you from that string of police murders and you took the bait. 
Now I’m not saying community violence is not an issue- I work just as hard to stop that as I do to stop systemic violence inflicted upon my people. I’m also not saying that families – two parent households in particular- aren’t important. 
But as a mother of two who had her first child at 19 and is now engaged to the man helping her raise not one but two beautiful babies, I have to say- shit don’t always work out like a god damn movie on the hallmark channel! 
It’s a lot more important and beneficial, to me, personally, to foster a ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ mentality than keep trying to jam ourselves into this American nuclear family two parents two kids and a dog mold. 
So many couples stay together ‘for the kids’ but look at the cost. Your kids grow up watching two people who are not in love try to tolerate each other and go out into the world of sex and relationships with a BULLSHIT blueprint of what black love can look like. 
Why? Cause you didn’t want to be the black man walking away from his family? Leave that girl and take care of them kids bruh. You didn’t want to be the dreaded independent black woman? Leave that man and make sure he can see them kids shawty. Go get your lives! All it takes to co parent a child is 2 adults who love them. They do not have to be married or even in a relationship. Just my $.02

Why disrespecting ‘ratchets’ is anti Black

This hits home for me in a major way. Having a great dialogue with a brotha on Facebook so I’m going to provide my commentary to him in this caption. He suggested that it’s important to differentiate because ‘we want our sons and daughters to differentiate between women who love themselves and give back to the world and those who don’t respect themselves or life’ 

here’s my response: The thing it’s important to remember Alain Davis is that the terms are applied so loosely that they lack accuracy and ultimately value. The minute you eat McDonald’s or know a fetty wap lyric you become a hood rat to some black men. 

If you didn’t know me as a person and you caught me on a particularly #carefreeblackgirl day I might very well be bumping ‘post to be’ and trying (and failing miserably) to do the nae nae. These small things create these huge and divisive categories and I can’t rock with that. 

In the case of our sisters who are truly not aware of their worth and ancestral greatness, the question we as a people have to ask ourselves is, ‘how does me calling this sister names change her situation?’ And it doesn’t. 

We forget that queens are queens even when they don’t exhibit ‘queen like’ behavior. That royalty shit is in our DNA. Perhaps if more of us respected one another that culture of love would permeate even the farthest gone mind. But we spend so much time throwing shade and trying to be a ‘different kind’ of black folk that the things that should bind us are trumped by these categorizations. 

It serves us to point out hArmful behavior. It doesn’t serve us to divide ourselves from one another or disrespect one another. A lot of nasty things come a black woman’s way once she’s deemed ‘ratchet’ and a ‘hoodrat.’ We don’t even have/use those terms for our men. Something else to think about. 

#locloveliveshere #blackhairmatters #stereotypes #namecalling #theblackcommunity #afrocenchick #ypoc #blacklove #blackpower #blackunity #blackwomen #blackmen #niggasbelike #bitchesbelike #queensbelike #kingsbelike #BUTWEALLROYALTY

Why I’m here for Ciara & Russell Wilson

You don’t have to marry the mother of your child to keep another man from doing the job given to you by biology. You simply have to be present and engaged in your child’s life.
I’m not gonna be out here telling folks with no business being in a relationship to make it last forever. That’s just silly. But two adults don’t have to be together to co-parent a child. They just have to be adults.
The fact so many people who have never met Ciara, Future OR Russell Wilson are so concerned about Ciara moving on is absurd.
How are your personal affairs going? Perhaps you shouldn’t be so emotionally invested in the familial drama of others. Especially when all the outrage stems from an apparent deadbeat’s ‘rights’ to a child and their hurt feelings over another man’s involvement.
What I’m seeing in the conversation surrounding this situation is a lot of claim being laid to women and children as things and not people. If the child is ‘yours’ and you care so much how did it become a situation where someone was able to replace you?
Conceiving a child does not make you a father. What you contribute after that child is born is the difference between being a sperm donor and a parent. Nothing is ‘yours’ once you discard it, regardless of paperwork or a last name. 
So all you brothas with hurt feelings probably need to give your own kids a call lol.