Happy Fathers Day to EVERYONE celebrating!

I will shout out my incredible spouse and my irreplaceable father in a later post.
First, I need to speak on something.
Single motherhood is not an epidemic that is exclusive to the black community. 
In that regard The fact that there are now cards that celebrate single mothers on Father’s Day being created by a black company is troubling though well intentioned.
HOWEVER The divisions we create amongst ourselves in communities of color, even in the face of constant destruction coming from OUTSIDE the community, just blows my mind.
Are we really going to argue about who can celebrate what and how? Are we really going to Judge the children of single mothers for viewing them as both parents, and celebrating them as such? 
If you don’t agree with it that’s fine! Totally up to you!
But why attack someone with a different view in the name of promoting someone else?
Why not just show love to the dutiful, responsible, loving, honest, caring, hardworking, loyal, intelligent, funny dads who deserve our praise all year instead of fighting on their day about who gets to celebrate it?
You think all the awesome dads out there are sitting at home like ‘Man! I can’t believe these hardworking single moms are being celebrated on MY day?!’ 
Of course not. They’re too busy being awesome dads!
And for those dads who are up in arms about it, there’s a way to have an opinion without discrediting a group just as underrepresented as yourself. 
Black fathers and single mothers alike get a VERY bad rap and instead of tearing each other down, we should be lifting each other up.
I don’t want to hear about how women who have children with dead beat dads ‘chose’ them. At least half of you on my timeline have children that were not planned. That can happen to anyone, with anyone, period. 
Before I had my happy, ‘perfect’ nuclear family I was a 19 year old single mother. 
And do you know what? I did the damn thang. 
If that was still my situation and my child viewed me as mama and papa that would be fine with me and if they didn’t? That would be fine with me too. At the end of the day I know the kind of parent I am and the impact I’m having as an individual on my children and I don’t need any outside validation.
But it doesn’t mean I have the right to dictate how someone else feels or behaves in regards to a situation I’m not in.
Imagine how much we could get done as a community if we were less concerned with who is sharing a bed with whom, who’s hair texture is this or that, who’s complexion is this or that, who’s fixing whose plate, whose choosing not to shave, etc.
I shudder to think of the impact we could have on this entire world.
Yall don’t hear me though.
Happy Father’s Day to the dads, grand dads, big brothers, Uncles, God fathers, educators, activists, mentors, faith leaders and yes, the single mothers who are doing their best to provide any and everything from the basic necessities to love, understanding and the tools to build a great life and strong character.
I acknowledge you this and every day and I love you ALL on every day of the year.


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